Posts Tagged ‘life’

I am feeling myself emerging from my cocoon with new wings and ideas. New definitions of who I am and what the world is have begun to sprout and soon I will be taking my first flight into unknown territories.

bel fire

Since Beltane night I have been exploring what it is to journey with transformation in mind. All of us evolve and shift our ideas and actions over our life times. Welcoming growth and life-affirming change is needed on a continual basis in order to stay away from the stagnant waters of our soul.

So what have I been doing? Well, let me tell you who I used to be at 13… I was a wild child of the woods, a fierce lover of anyone I could get my hands on and make-believer in the true world of unseen mystery. I sneaked out during summers to see the heat lightning dance above the fields. I stole away to ponds and rivers to write poetry and make my offerings of teenage kisses to nymph queens and kings.

And then I became older (wiser?)… all of the things I thought I was working for came to be: married my perfect man, had our perfect kids and a part of me became paranoid that something that was so wild in me was too impulsive for my comfy home life. But the wildness has never left me- I don’t think it can- it comes out in my laughter, tears, blood and sweat and magic. It reminds me in the thunder’s song as I try to sleep at night. It haunts me until I let it out through my art, my writing, my songs, my fierce fire when I become outraged about a worldly injustice. (Seriously, what is going on out there??)

Facing my fears of wild… Cougars have begun to roam again in Illinois again, too. After over 100 years they are back. The chances of running into one is rare. The chance of being killed by one is even rarer (19 people have been killed in the last 100 years). However, a fear so deep has struck me. I have been finding myself scared to go into the woods alone lately- but my wildness refuses to leave me alone. My body aches to be out among the dense trees- listening to their mysteries. I have decided that to live a life away from the woods is no life for me. So I have studied on how to act if I see a cougarĀ  (don’t make eye contact, walk away slow but never turn your back) and if one tries to attack (act like a crazy wild animal and scream at it). If I end up eaten at least I tried to really live my life how I need to and my body can become part of the woods again.

Oh, so and now I hear news that my county is under a tornado watch….

Here is a sneak peak of some magic I have been working on lately… More info on that soon! Happy 100th post to me!

triangle neck

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I am the type of person that has a bunch of things going on at one time. I feel somewhat comfortable in creative chaos, but I find myself keeping projects in motion for a long time and taking a while to get anything accomplished. It is like I am juggling a bunch of painted eggs and I keep adding another because it is so pretty, but I never keep one in my hands long enough to let it warm and hatch.

This personality characteristic has it’s double-edged moments as a stay at home mother, too. Yes, the housework does get done, but it is never great all the time. Yes, I never get bored with my millions of hobbies, but I also have a mural half painted on my wall and I have no clue when I will feel like finishing it!

Anyway, I have begun to find a bit of a balance and I am glad for it. Everyday I have been trying to follow a schedule (gulp… I used that word that goes so against my spontaneous mind!). But I find it helping me tremendously when I follow it. I have decided to get up in the morning before the kids. This was a tough decision. I am not a morning person and I love my sleep life, but I find that when I do this I can do my morning routine in peace and start my day off well in a spiritual manner.

I like to make a magical tea for myself first thing. There are so many plants that can go into tea with magical intention. I often sprinkle cinnamon onto the stove Fire to honor the sacred flame. Then I set down my ceramic Earth pot filled with Water and set up a spiritual space for my yoga routine. Lastly, I welcome Air with incense, the steam of the tea and my breath work with each asana.

Yoga is a way for me celebrate my body and open myself up to Spirit. I do not follow any set of routines, but I try to keep the flow alive by listening and responding to how my body wants to move. Lastly, I end with a rock-tastic meditation session where I meet guides or absorb different energies I know I will need for the day.

The rest of my day falls into loosely the same type of structure: I know what I need to do, but I try to keep it spontaneous in how I do it. Okay, so housework can feel pretty repetitive, but I try to liven it up with different background music. Nightly family time could mean a walk or a game or simply laughing and wrestling together. In the afternoons while my toddler sleeps, I do something I like to do: like work on the harp, one of my art projects, this blog or chill in our backyard hammock. Okay, so sometimes I take a nap with him too! It only took almost 6 years as a mother, but I think I finally feel some balance with the everyday stuff.

I know my life won’t always be like this. By the time my youngest starts school I will be starting my career in counseling and grad school will be over (I am currently starting to go at night). But I just wanted to write this so I could look back and cherish my wonderfully abundant life that is unique to this chapter in my life. I am finding pleasure at the most simplest things with maturity. My family may not have gold lying around for us to liveĀ  exactly where we want to live and vacation whenever we want, but at least we are living how we want to live… and that is in appreciating each other and valuing the sacred gift of everyday. Many Blessings out there!

Example of one of the many artsy things I do!







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