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Posts Tagged ‘meditation’

I’ve decided to take a one or two week break from the computer world.

I am on here too much and I am begining to feel a little too bombarded with the mainstream culture- which may be the reality for some folks, but for me, my reality needs to consist of night walks and face to face laughter. I need to bury myself in the smoke of my new Hemlock tree incense and reroot myself in the wildness of my true nature. Except for school work and to check the status of my etsy store… I am choosing sunlight over computer light.

I keep seeing that Tarot card in my head where the person is immersed in illusions… this must be me now, for the internet world, as lovely as it is, is not a substitute for the breath that cycles through me, beckoning me to be free for a while from technology.

I have a weekend ahead of me full of drum circles, nature hikes, pagan children groups, painting and home renovation. This weekend I call back the wild within. I want to pay more attention to the real: my childrens’ play, my husband’s kiss, my meditating heart and my garden to be planted.

And so I will be back, but only after some hard earned spiritual recharging that doesn’t take an electrical socket!

Brightest Blessings,

Cicada

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Language is what defines our reality. In a postmodernistic view, where reality is subject to everyone’s own perceptions, language helps form our realities and can be different for different groups and individuals.

Words convey symbols. But what one word may convey to one person, can mean something so different to another. (Just think of all the connotations connected to the word “magic”).

It seems that with all religions, everyone has a word for God, but the words themselves do not match.

In fact, I personally think the word “God” is still too limiting to what it is I feel the Infinite Spirit represents. The word God feels so human to me. I once read in a Hindu scripture (can’t think of exact one) that people need a personal view and an impersonal view of God, so all the deities help a person connect to God, as there is a humanistic image of He or She, the impersonal view is called Atman (God within) and Brahman (God outside of ourselves). The goal is realizing that they are identical.  I like this perspective, as do many.

However, the word God, or even Goddess, is still limiting in it’s symbolic form. At least for me. Even if I try to connect to the impersonal God, I still end up imagining this old dude in the sky. Some people have an androgynous form of God they like to connect with, but it is still so human. Here’s the thing… out of all the hundreds names for God, what is it that God really means? What is it that God is?

=

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~LOVE~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If everyone could just accept this about everyone else’s gods, this would be the start of peace.

If everyone could just place LOVE on their altars, we would have the ultimate ideal for our lives.

LOVE is limitless. It has infinite forms. This is why there are so many deities and ideas of what they are. The world needs so many forms of Love. From the love of creativity to the love of the future generations to allow for death. Love is why we are here. Even if your parents conceived you from what most would deem as loveless sex, you were still conceived because they desired connection.

LOVE IS CONNECTION.

I am not saying I’m giving up on paganism or the God’s. Since love is infinite and we are part of this Infinite energy then there are many forms. Just like there are many, many people born to serve Love in many ways (teachers, musicians, librarians, leaders, garbage truck drivers, mothers, morticians, acrobats, etc…) there are many deities needed to serve Love in many ways  (Allah, Kali, Diana, Jehovah) and yes, many saints and prophets and wise ones (Buddha, Jesus, Krishna, Mother Theresa, You?). And let’s not forget about the animals and plants of this world!

Thus, I am a servant of Love. I am love and you are love.

So Blessed Be

Picture by

http://www.cianellistudios.com/spiritual_paintings.html

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Moments I cherish…

Giving myself a break when my body tells me to slow down. This is accompanied by drinking warm green tea swirling with heaps of cinnamon and honey.

My husband and I mutually agreeing that cuddling is good enough for tonight because we are so exhausted from playing all day with our two children who bless our home.

Finding creative ways to stretch our dollar because it shows how resilient I am. Plus, usually the home-cooked rice and beans concoction I make kicks take-out food’s ass by a gazillion.

Having my family turn to me with their problems. This lets me know how much they must truly feel comfortable with me.

Watching the snow build up outside from  my window, because it means that I have a warm house to live in.

Trying to organize my excess of spiritual items,  because I am reminded of how much my spirituality influences my life.

Having a small house, because it means I can see my husband and children more.

Mowing the yard, because I have soil to do with what I please.

Staying up late to finish a school assignment, because it means I am one step closer to becoming a counselor in the future.

Having my husband work late sometimes, because his job is secure and he is valued as a hard-worker.

Running out of art supplies, because I get to go buy more!

….. now, if only I had this attitude about changing the litter box. 🙂

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Samhain… the one night of the year where I don’t care how busy I am or how late it is… meeting with my community of witches and journeying to the Underworld is going to happen!

We were all busy that day: I had school till 9pm. Tulie had Trick-or-Treat with her kids. JJ was still in the process of moving out of her house. It did not matter, because come storm or sleet, we were meeting! Tulie and I have been meeting every Samhain night since we were 12 years old.

We do something a bit crazy on good old Samhain… we find a cornfield and we.. we… run around naked in it! Every year I am secretly dreading it the day of. It is so damn cold outside and I’m admittedly a wimp about the cold, but once we are out there running around with the air kissing our thighs I am in love. We shout to the moon and sing blessings to the earth. We renew our spirits and recharge our magic for the next year.

When we go back into the house we are huffing, our lungs burning and our skin tingling. From here the transition is made into ritual space and we dance, drum, sing and call to the spirits of our ancestors and the land.

Hecate, Kali and Oya was honored last night in accordance to our own Dark Goddesses we work with. The circle became heavy with the presence of many spirits. I’m sure our guardians was extra-alert for any mischievous Otherkind last night.

At this point, we were all in a deep trance and ready to move onto the next Samhain tradition. One at a time we approached the altar and knelt in front of the Underworld poison… a deep crimson juice of pomegranate, and we drank of it deeply. Reenacting our deaths, we stumbled onto our resting place already prepared. The other remaining priestesses covered the now motionless body with blankets stained in pokeberry juice and ornate celtic knots.

We journeyed to the Underworld to receive our personal messages for the following year. Time seemed to be non-existent. Our gods showed us our path and prepared us for the upcoming winter. These visions feed us through the new year.

When we are reborn into the circle we awaken from our graves and approach the altar. There, laid before us, is all of the major arcana Tarot cards face down and mixed up. Still in a trance state we choose one to see what the theme for the following year will be. This year I received the Sun, which actually fit perfectly with my Underworld vision.

As the ritual winded down we chanted one of my Crone songs to the beat of Tulie’s buffalo skin drum. The night was a success and we departed with warm smiles and hugs.

 

Lyrics to my Samhain song,

We are Witches Three

by Cicada/Bonnie Waller

We are witches three 

 we have a holiday,

when we go skyclad

in the fields we pray.

We are witches three

My brother do not fear,

We only honor

the ending of our year.

We are witches three

Watch us part the veil

Out through the mists

The spirits we do hail.

We are witches three

You think we are pretend,

Won’t you join us

dancing with the dead?

 

Now to show off the awesome El Dia De Los Muertos altar at Western Illinois University:

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Do not despair, but Dance!

Do not weep, but Dance!

Do not tremble with fear, but Dance!

Do not forget- Dance!

It is the first promise and the first lesson in one.

From the beginning of time and unto the end, which are, after all, the same-

to be a Witch is to dance.

And remember your Shadow dances with you.

                         ~ Veronica Cummer, Sorgitzak Old Forest Craft

There are four aspects of being. ~Physical (Earth) ~Emotional (Water) ~Intellectual (Air) and ~Spiritual (Fire)

The first three are well-known in know-how. When drained physically, one must rest, eat well and exercise. When weak emotionally, one needs to figure out what it is that is draining them, take a break from it and often face one’s own Shadow aspect. Also, to nourish one’s heart, often a connection is needed… either through counseling, a friend, or just simply to connect back to one’s self. When tired mentally, a rest from over- stimulating intellectual endeavors is needed and maybe a little distraction.

But how does one go about rejuvenating the Spirit within? Often this is confusing to even self-diagnose because the symptoms of a spiritual drain can seem like physical, emotional and intellectual issues. And often, the prescription needed tends to fall into the categories of the others.

Everyone has a spiritual aspect that needs nourishment. I know an atheist who gets her spiritual needs met by living ethically and seeing a field full of beautiful, twinkling fireflies at night. Some Christians may feed their spiritual side by going to church or praying. For everyone, it is different. However, it is important to know what it is that you need.

For this busy witch, I need the spontaneous moments of making love in the woods. I need to sleep under that stars every once in a while. I need to dance. I need to trance. I need to remember my dreams.

Witches can easily become drained spiritually. For one thing, we are often delving into situations that require a lot of our energy. We walk between the worlds often and to be awakened in both means to inhale and exhale spiritual energy… give and receive. Sometimes we are hermits, making magick in our own little dark caves. Sometimes we are participating community sages, even if some of us are still in the broom closet, I don’t know one witch who doesn’t send healing energy to a friend in need or feel a twinge of remorse for the raccoon that lies silent on the edge of the roads….

We must live in balance like the sky holds steady the day and night. We must know how to nourish the soul.

~Cicada

image from: 1stwebdesigner.com

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Awake

To that Always Burning Fire within,

        Awake in my Soul-

.

Ode to the Self

       that is infinite and unbounded.

Ode to the Self

       that has no beginning or end.

Ode to the Self

       beyond the confines of my body.

  An infinite spiral inside my Being

              constantly connecting

               and reaching back inside again.

Ode to the Self

      expansion Awake.

Ode to my Being

       ever present outside time.

    A touch of eternal flame

                an opening,

                 a quickening,

                 a truth beyond take.

Ode to the Self

       connection to Spirit made whole.

Ode to my Self

       always experiencing the movements

             but is the stillness

                  of the center

                       in my Being Awake.

                                                            ~Cicada

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This past year I have become more spacy. I find myself quickly going into trances during ritual. My dreams take me on epic journeys almost every night (wolves have been the theme lately). I can sit for hours alone doing art. I am an air sign, but lately it has been so extreme that my memory of what went on in the subconscious gets a bit foggy. A little grounding could do me well.

My body has been begging me to stretch it. I am wanting to dance. I want to move in ways that I have never before…

And then I remembered back to my nightly routine when I was eleven. With my blacklight on and CD player playing Pure Moods, I used to move my body in ways to open me up to Great Spirit. Dancing and stretching in my little bedroom, magical blanket under my feet, I used to evoked the mysterious and transcend past my daily struggles every night and go to bed buzzing.

When I was sixteen, I worked for an art museum as a multicultural dancer.  I was the only one in the program who had no training, but the teacher liked that. My body was not restricted. She taught me the importance of freeing the body.

And then, well, as I grew older I abandoned this physical freedom. I forgot how the body is spirit, too.  My mind expanded and what I knew and how open I felt emotionally matured, but I didn’t think the body was as important anymore.  I thought that it did not matter what the body did as long as one’s spirit was free. I had children and since I was always giving physically to them, I stopped moving for me. Yoga and vegetarianism were things I knew I would do some day but I wasn’t ready.

Then, over a year ago, I got sick with something that would not go away. I have had a low immune system my whole life and I was sick of it, literally. Documentaries like Food Matters and Fat, Sick and Dying inspired me. I began to eat raw as often as I could. My diet went from eating everything that man or god put out there to eating almost completely plant-based foods. I felt GREAT!

One day last May I woke up and it just naturally hit me: I don’t want to eat chicken, beef or pork anymore. No forcing, no laws to follow, I just didn’t want it anymore. I became a pescetarian cold turkey… (okay that sounds funny). At first I did crave some things (like bacon and hotdogs and cheese burgers and sausage) but if I ate something salty it sent that craving bye-bye. I began this process for the health of the planet and my body, but now I have gotten to the point where I feel extreme compassion for the animals and thinking about meat actually grosses me out. I still eat wild-caught fish, but I know that one day this too will be gone from my diet. (I suppose I need to up the compassion for the fish, too.)

So, my immune system was doing awesome, but it wasn’t enough. My body got one taste of health and it screamed at me to do more because I hadn’t been tending to my muscles. I started to run some and go bike riding and then one day it naturally hit me: I want to open my body.

My wonderful husband suggested I get a hotel room one night to have a break from the world (I was stressing out about an upcoming interview). Although I didn’t want to spend the money, I am glad I did because that night I re-established a relationship with my body. I listened to how my body wanted to be stretched and moved and in doing so I found out that I could spiritually align myself quicker.

I don’t follow any set routine because I am somewhat rebellious to authority and I prefer to be spontaneously in the moment, but I do find that how my body wants to be moved is very similar to yoga. Being precedes Doing. Now that I have been moving my body like this daily, I am getting interested in learning asanas. In addition, as I have been studying tantric disciplines for years, doing yoga smooths wonderfully into it.

I have learned from all this that nothing can be forced into action. I always knew that I wanted to do yoga and vegetarianism, but I needed my body to want it too. Once the two paired up, it has felt simply natural to develop these patterns as an outcome. I have not lost respect for people who still eat meat, but I must say I am very pleasantly surprised to learn from experience that we really don’t need it.

And today I am celebrating: a whole year as a pescetarian!   ~Cicada

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

art by: above-  Cimmi Cumes(Mills) and below-nalanece at deviantArt 

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