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Posts Tagged ‘Nature Religion’

I’m not sure why, but the Spirit within has wanted me to stop writing on here. What happens now needs to be between my Gods and me. I have already stopped writing so much and I thought I owed it to everybody to have one more post before I go.

Spiritually, I have stepped through a door and it is dark. I’m not sure what lies ahead. I’ve never felt like this before but I must keep listening intuitively and thinking with my heart. I suppose I did not eventually feel connected to my own practice when I felt like I wanted to take pictures all the time to share on here. I suppose that my poems, once between me and the Goddess, I started to look at too much to see what I could share. Sometimes, we over-extend ourselves in trying to spread out little pieces of our souls in hopes of helping others. I want to take the ego out of my intentions, too.

What I am supposed to be doing: Singing alone and to others. Painting alone and for others. Counseling myself and for others. Feeding myself and for others. But I need to take back my writing and my magick, for the time being and be alone with it. It needs to stay in solitude. It needs to be humbled and dynamic. It needs to be my own secret. It is the womb of my own creativity and the womb is dark like the black soil that supports all new growth.

If you have ever read my blog and was in anyway inspired- I am so glad. If you have ever liked or commented- I am so appreciative. I am also thankful to my husband, who supports every journey I partake in. Talking to the outside world has been good for me. Growing up in a family of hermits I did not know how to stretch myself into opening up to the world. Writing this blog has been a wonderful adventure that has helped baby-step me into performing on stage and connecting with people from all over the world. So thank you- thank you for being a part of this experience. Maybe someday, when I’m an old woman who has already experienced what the world has to offer and the Spirits tell me I’m ready- I will be back. But for now, I welcome simplicity,  I welcome the light of true fire to warm me. Let my thoughts be my own.

Brightest Blessings, Cicada

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I recently had a dream that I visited an old sage and he had what appeared to be devil statues around his house. He honored them so deeply that they began to move on their own accord. I was not scared, but instead in a state of wonder. Why did this wise man have these statues? This was one entity I did not want to work with. And then I found a small white horn among this man’s gardens. I filled it with water and began feeding a Ganesha statue. I went inside and felt like feeding the devil statues. They drank and were surprised at my intent to give love to that I did not completely trust or understand. But that is what my duty is in life- to give love without conditions. Then one began to speak and we had conversations on how he is that which is wild, he represents nature which is neither black or white in ethics.

And then the next day, in my waking life, I came across something that I never thought I would again. When I was a teenager someone tried to kidnap me, twice. I mean these two instances were so extreme that I was seriously lucky to have gotten away. I’ve been suffering from some flash backs of those moments as an adult but I never knew who he was. All I knew was a car and a face. Well, the day after I had the devil dream I was driving around a small town that I used to live by and I saw the car. The same tiny, old, yellow car with Grateful dead stickers and a fake cop light. My heart skipped and I couldn’t believe that after all these years I had a chance to find out who it was- granted the original person never sold this car. I parked my car away from the house and walked around the block to the car to get a better look. The car was parked next to a beat up house and out came a man who began yelling at his dog. I couldn’t believe it- this man look like the man I had seen as a teenager, just aged about 15 years. I wrote down the license plate and address and walked back to my car, trying not to faint. As I drove away the man drove by in his yellow car, as if the universe wanted to doubly make sure I got my confirmation.

I don’t know what I am going to do with this information (it’s much too late to report anything- although I do worry about other kids in the area, but I can’t be 100% sure after 15 years), but I am really glad that the mystery of who this guy was is solved in my mind. There have been many, many people in my life who have done me wrongly. After a while I had eventually forgiven them all. I had found a way to feel compassion for them, even if I chose to no longer have them in my life. But this guy, remained unforgivable in my mind until I saw him again and saw how weak he really was. It is humans who take advantage of the primal powers of nature. Humans are the ones who drain the earth of her blood-oil, who take more gold then they need, who try to dominate the Earth and her creatures, who have weakened hearts that give in to addictions of the body and mind. We have forgotten that we are apart of Nature. We give into addictions because we like to be reminded of the primal powers within us. Some of us have forgotten that we can make wild animal love without alcohol or drift into a mind altering trance without drugs. Some of us have forgotten how to genuinely give and receive love unconditionally. In placing the ideas of evil outside of ourselves onto Nature we have separated ourselves from Nature and have become weakened and ignorant of what our true natures are and how we fit into all of creation. Thus how the old nature gods of paganism became the devil for the religions of new.

And today I come across this lovely song by chance, reminding me of what I have learned:

Lyrics:

Early one morning, around the first of May,
A man in black came walking, into a woodland glade,
Following the sounds of pipes on this beautiful Spring day,
High on the music that they made.
But what beheld him within that place?
A look of recognition fell across his face,
“Lucifer, oh Lucifer, why do you appear to me?
For I am a man of God, a priest.

(Chorus)
I’m no devil I’m Father to the land,
I have lived here since the Earth began,
Neither black nor white,
Priest hear what I say,
I’m green and grey.

The priest said, “Lucifer, Lucifer you lie so well,
I will pray unto my God, go back to the fires of Hell!
You fell from Heaven, and you fell from Grace.
You want dominion over this place.”
The Piper smiled, and to the priest he said,
“I was Lord of Animals, the Wild Hunt I led,
Until your God came here and with his jealous hand,
It was he who wanted dominion over this land.

The priest said, “All evil comes from your hand.”
The Piper said, “If evil is, it lies in the hearts of Man.”
“But you lead us, oh you tempt us, to rape, to steal, to kill!”
The Piper said, “Whatever happened to free will?”
Then the Grove lay empty, the priest told no one.
The blossom lay upon the thorn, the Piper’s tune was done.
And in the sunlit forest, the animals they bowed,
As the Piper lay his Goddess down.

-Written by Damh the Bard

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I am feeling myself emerging from my cocoon with new wings and ideas. New definitions of who I am and what the world is have begun to sprout and soon I will be taking my first flight into unknown territories.

bel fire

Since Beltane night I have been exploring what it is to journey with transformation in mind. All of us evolve and shift our ideas and actions over our life times. Welcoming growth and life-affirming change is needed on a continual basis in order to stay away from the stagnant waters of our soul.

So what have I been doing? Well, let me tell you who I used to be at 13… I was a wild child of the woods, a fierce lover of anyone I could get my hands on and make-believer in the true world of unseen mystery. I sneaked out during summers to see the heat lightning dance above the fields. I stole away to ponds and rivers to write poetry and make my offerings of teenage kisses to nymph queens and kings.

And then I became older (wiser?)… all of the things I thought I was working for came to be: married my perfect man, had our perfect kids and a part of me became paranoid that something that was so wild in me was too impulsive for my comfy home life. But the wildness has never left me- I don’t think it can- it comes out in my laughter, tears, blood and sweat and magic. It reminds me in the thunder’s song as I try to sleep at night. It haunts me until I let it out through my art, my writing, my songs, my fierce fire when I become outraged about a worldly injustice. (Seriously, what is going on out there??)

Facing my fears of wild… Cougars have begun to roam again in Illinois again, too. After over 100 years they are back. The chances of running into one is rare. The chance of being killed by one is even rarer (19 people have been killed in the last 100 years). However, a fear so deep has struck me. I have been finding myself scared to go into the woods alone lately- but my wildness refuses to leave me alone. My body aches to be out among the dense trees- listening to their mysteries. I have decided that to live a life away from the woods is no life for me. So I have studied on how to act if I see a cougar  (don’t make eye contact, walk away slow but never turn your back) and if one tries to attack (act like a crazy wild animal and scream at it). If I end up eaten at least I tried to really live my life how I need to and my body can become part of the woods again.

Oh, so and now I hear news that my county is under a tornado watch….

Here is a sneak peak of some magic I have been working on lately… More info on that soon! Happy 100th post to me!

triangle neck

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There comes a point in every witch’s work where they must choose to face the unknown. In this choice comes great power, yet also great risk. Along every mystic path, we choose or not choose to take it to the next step and challenge ourselves in hopes of expanding our selves spiritually. Naturally, great fear comes along with this.

Take the example of crafting a charm to help you see the unseen. Although this is what you may want, does your inner, subconscious self really desire this? There are a few possible growth-stunting outcomes in taking this next step:

1. You could suddenly develop a strong second sight and it may freak you out beyond explanation.

2. You will not see or experience anything and every occult thing that you had once so strongly believed in now would be met with doubt.

3. You become mad and crazed – a loss of grip on reality could occur.

This is an example of why some spells may not work so well. In thinking over all of these possibilities, your inner mind and spiritual guides may prevent this charm’s energy from materializing completely.

This is also an example of how many children grow out of their fairytale magical beliefs- afraid of being seen as irrational, crazy and afraid of what it would mean for their definition of reality if many of their magical beliefs were true.

Fear is truly our greatest enemy when it comes to occult work. However, it is important to honor the natural pace of your spiritual development. When you are ready, your abilities and experiences will grow. It is like stretching a muscle: listen to your feelings and body on how far you can go and keep stretching and developing it, but attempting huge feats may result in injury until you are ready… and it is okay if you are not ready! All witches continuously are met with new doors that they are trying to stretch toward to open. The process never ends- once one boundary is crossed, eventually a new one becomes apparent, but at least you have the tools you have developed along the way to help you with the next one.

Naturally developing your spiritual self: Stay alert and aware. Consciously make sure you are living away from a lifestyle where you are on autopilot all the time. Pay attention and be connected. Take responsibility for your thoughts, actions and words- they carry great weight until you begin to take them for granted. Honor your intuition (don’t think you have one? Just start paying attention to your inner worlds.) Seek. Seek and Seek.

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I’ve decided to take a one or two week break from the computer world.

I am on here too much and I am begining to feel a little too bombarded with the mainstream culture- which may be the reality for some folks, but for me, my reality needs to consist of night walks and face to face laughter. I need to bury myself in the smoke of my new Hemlock tree incense and reroot myself in the wildness of my true nature. Except for school work and to check the status of my etsy store… I am choosing sunlight over computer light.

I keep seeing that Tarot card in my head where the person is immersed in illusions… this must be me now, for the internet world, as lovely as it is, is not a substitute for the breath that cycles through me, beckoning me to be free for a while from technology.

I have a weekend ahead of me full of drum circles, nature hikes, pagan children groups, painting and home renovation. This weekend I call back the wild within. I want to pay more attention to the real: my childrens’ play, my husband’s kiss, my meditating heart and my garden to be planted.

And so I will be back, but only after some hard earned spiritual recharging that doesn’t take an electrical socket!

Brightest Blessings,

Cicada

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Last night in my multicultural counseling class we had a gay couple guest speak about the coming out process. I realize that there are many differences between the Wiccan community and the LGBT community, but I always find it interesting how many similarities there are because of us both identifying ourselves outside of mainstream society.

For one, we both face possible discrimination if we are publicly “out” and we have to constantly stand up for our human rights (so LGBT pagans really get a double whammy of work). Another thing they said was most LGBT people have usually felt a little different growing up, like they didn’t quite fit in to the main crowd so easy. Almost all of the Wiccans and Pagans I have known have said the same thing.

The couple went on to talk about the facts of coming out: it is not just a one time deal and you never have to do it again! The process never ends!! It is the same for Pagans… think about it: You may be out to your friends and family and maybe even those who you work with, but we are still having to judge the right time to come out to people we have just met, too.

For example, I have made some new friends at grad school, but I haven’t brought up my religion till last week because I wanted everyone to know who I was before any possible stereotypes would get slammed on me once I announce that I am Pagan. But here is finally how it went-and I wrote a nonfiction story about it so enjoy…

The Lesbian, The Christian and The Witch

Three female graduate students in their twenties are talking. One is a lesbian, one is a Christian and one is a witch:

The Christian to the Lesbian: “Sometimes I feel that others may be judging me on being a Christian because the stereotypes of Christians being judgmental, but I just want you to know that I completely accept and support your lifestyle. Not all Christians are the same… many of us do focus more on the love side.”

The Lesbian: “Thank you, that means a lot. I never really thought about how you are worried about stereotypes, too.”

The Witch: “Wow, I am so touched by this conversation and I am feeling ready to tell you both something: I’m Pagan!”

The Lesbian: “Pagan?”

The Witch: “Another common name is Wicca.”

The Lesbian: “No way! That is great- I don’t know any Wiccans. Hey my mom is really interested in the Salem Witch Trials.”

The Christian: “What does it mean to be Wiccan?”

The Witch: To honor the masculine and feminine divine and see the sacredness of nature mostly.

The Christian: “It sounds really interesting to learn about. I’m glad you told us. It sounds like we all have something we worry about being discriminated for. ”

The Witch to the Christian: “I owe you an apology, I was worried about telling you because I was placing that judgmental Christian stereotype on you. I have experienced a lot of prejudice from Christians in the past, but now I see that is not true of all, or maybe even most Christians- thank you for being so brave and talking about your feelings.”

Three friends walk back to class… and it doesn’t matter which one is the lesbian, the witch or the christian, because the first word they think about when they see each other is, “Friend”.

The End.

awww… now I am all teary eyed just thinking about it again 🙂

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Where have all the mystics gone and why can’t they be seen?

Where are all the shadow men and singers to the trees?

Why are all these people gathering around a common sound,

When there is so much diversity in the world waiting to be found?

When can I escape to a wooded hidden home

Where folk who speak of magic safely may roam?

Why are those who are gifted  shunned from out of sight,

When we the people need their blessings and  insight?

When can we return to the doctors and the queens

Who can speak from our world into the great unseen?

I call out to the wild of places still unmet

Keep all of your secrets hidden there- because if we knew, we would forget.

Until one day when we all can meet as the lovers that we are,

and make new ways and reinvent how to love from afar,

May we hold our mysteries silent and deep and never surrender to

What others think we should be and what we are supposed to do.

For the path of the mystic can be like a mirror into the moon,

What is reflected is the truth of beauty, but logic taints it too soon.

-By Bonnie Waller (Cicada)

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